Bad girls.. bad girls.....

*if you want to stop the music, go to the bottom of the page*

I saw this in my rearview mirror... :X

More tomorrow

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It's tomorrow! I didn't say tomorrow morning you know. Some people have to work around here.

I guess the title should read "Bad girL... bad girL.." as in not plural. Scratch that... how about "Not so Bad girL... " Not quite as exciting though.

Brace yourselves.

It's 7/7/07. The so-called luckiest day ever. Lots of weddings on this day.. proposals.. lottery numbers.. births.. anything and everything exciting and memorable. So what did I do, you ask?

I worked. As usual.

It's 6:15 am and I'm traveling down the turnpike towards d-town Orlando.
Queen is blaring. Something about ".. we will.. we will.. ROCK you..."
When you hear that tune, you think of bleachers, high school, football, cheering... Stomping on bleachers precisely, to the opening beat of this song.. followed by a clap. My car is not equipped with bleachers, so while improvising, I may have overused the gas pedal a tad.

It's not like I was traveling a lonely road either.. I had company. A couple trucks, a few other cars and a Florida Highway patrol car. I saw it. Yet I continued to go with the flow... and he was part of the flow.

".. Buddy you're a boy, make a big noise...Playin in the street. Gonna be a big man some day. You got mud on your face. You big disgrace. Kickin your can all over the place...."

The turnpike allows you to flow at a maximum speed of 70 mph, which means 80 to me. I was two cars behind the FHP in the left lane. Two trucks were traveling at the same speed as the rest of us in the right lane. I'm not on the turnpike for long before I have to split off onto another highway.. which apparently turns into 45 mph for a little while until the merging is over and you get into yet another flow (max speed 65 mph on this highway).

The cars/trucks, as usual, were 'afraid' to pass the FHP, who btw, was speeding too. I continued to drive with the flow.... Queen continued to entertain me as I was thinking "you pansies.. it's 65 on this road, pass him already before I'm late for work.. you're holding me up here... move it move it move it....."
The guy in front of me must have read my lips backwards in the dark through his rearview mirror because he suddenly got into the right lane behind the truck that was keeping pace with the FHP, not a hair over. So now I'm directly behind the FHP. You big babies.

I know that my speed was approximately 52-53 mph. Now do you see why I was so antsy? I'm in a 65 driving 50 something because Mister -King -of -the -Road -I -have -a -siren- and -you -don't, is ruling the road and scaring the fellow travelers.

"...Buddy you’re an old man poor man
Pleadin’ with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day

You got mud on your face
You big disgrace
Somebody better put you back in your place

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you ...."


So what did I do next? I put on my right blinker like a nice law-obeyer. The vehicles on my right GLADLY let me in, as if to say "I so dare you... pass him miss black suv girl with the Yankees license plate... paaaaaaaaaasss him!!"

I made it into the right lane... and soon was traveling right along side of FHP man. He immediately put on his flashing blue/reds. I hadn't even passed him. Just got directly beside him.

You little B. Otch. I'm sure the right side of the road travelers were laughing their asses off... "haha Yankee girl.. blah blah.. dumbass.." I pulled over and I was pissed.

He pulled up behind me with his sparkling blue/red lights that shined so pretty on my freshly washed (the day before) vehicle.
I took a deep breath and talked to myself for the 20 seconds it took him to get out of his car and walk toward my window. "Don't call him asshole, even if he is one.." "Don't get out of the car and smack him upside his head..." Contain yourself woman. He was probably 6'5, 230 lbs, black, had a mustache and no sense of humor.

I put my window down before he had the chance to command me to do so. Before I could say "what did I do?" .. he said "You're speeding.. get out your license, insurance and registration"

I did.. he informed me that we were traveling in a 45 mph zone and that it didn't go back up to 65 mph until we reached a sign that he pointed to. It was directly in front of me.

Here's the transcript:

Me: I didn't realize it was still 45 right here.

Him: Well it is and you were doing 65.

Me: I do admit I wasn't doing 45, but I certainly wasn't doing 65 either.

Him: Yes you were

Me: No, I wasn't.

Him: Do I look stupid to you?

Me: Excuse me?

Him: Do. I. Look. Stupid. To. You. ?

Me: oh please.

Him: Excuse me, I asked you a question.

Me: No, what you're trying to do, is bait me...

Him: I guess I'm just an idiot right? I'm just a huge idiot.

Me: (said nothing, but my eyes agreed)

Him: Right? I'm just the biggest idiot in Orlando? Is that right?

Me: Who are you trying to convince by repeating those words?

*I figured, screw it.. he's being a total ass.. I'm getting a ticket, might as well run my mouth*

Him: I'm just a huge idiot... is that right?

Me: You said it, not me. For the record and all.

Him: Right.. I'm just a huge idiot..

Me: Ok. I'm convinced. Plus some. So.. here's what we need to do now. Write your ticket and I'll see you again in court. I have to get to work.

Him: You'll pay court costs plus the fine.

Me: (dialing the phone) I'm calling a friend now, because this has passed ridiculous.

Him: WHO are you calling?

Me: I just told you I was calling a friend. He's an Orlando police officer..

Him: Are you threatening me now?

Me: More baiting. Won't work. (phone rings 3 times.. he answers.. I quickly tell him to listen and don't talk, he says ok).

Him: So you're threatening me with calling an officer?

Me: YOU are the one that asked ME who I was calling, I simply answered you.

Him: (shuffling through the papers I handed him) and scoffing, mumbling.

Me: (talking to friend quick), Hey, got pulled over, fhp, he's mean, listen to this for me. He said "ok.. "

Him: and for the record, I wasn't the one speeding here lady.

Me: well, technically.. you were.

Him: Excuse me?

Me: What speed were YOU traveling at?

Him: I was traveling AT 51-52 mph.

Me: Really? And you do know I was traveling right along beside of you, was behind you for 5-7 minutes.. never passed you. So.. how am I going 65 mph again???

Him: You were doing 65.

Me: If I was doing 65, then you were doing 65.

Him: So I'm stupid, is that right?

Me: Here we go again. (to friend on phone) this guy keeps saying this!!!

Friend on phone: You're doing good, don't blow it. Tell him to give you the ticket, you don't even have to tell him you'll see him in court, just take the ticket and WE will see him in court.. oh, ask him if he lasered or clocked you"

Me: Did you clock that speed? or "laser" it?

Him: (no response)

Me: Did you clock me? I want to see it for proof.

Him: I don't have to show you.

Me: Fine. You'll have to prove that you weren't doing 65 as well then.. you can't speed if you're not on a call. So if I was doing 65, then you were too. Please give me the ticket.

Him: I'll be right back.

(he walks to his car)

Friend: What's going on?

Me: I don't know.. I was doing 53-54, something like that. Traveling right behind this cop... then move to the right because I was going to pass him but never got the chance.. he turned his lights on the second I got into the right lane.. I thought this was a 65, apparently it's still 45 for 5 more seconds..

Friend: And you were traveling behind him at a steady pace for 5-7 minutes?

Me: yeah! I didn't come blaring up behind him.. I've been riding right along with him and some others too afraid to pass. But I thought I was in a 65..

Friend: You aren't yelling, so that's good.

(fhp guy is back) and throws a paper into my car..

Me: (to friend) he just threw the paper into my car

Friend: why??

Him: I'm giving you a warning. And here is a ticket for $71 for not displaying your sticker properly.

Me: What sticker?

Him: the '08 sticker on your license plate is folded down.

Me: You have to be kidding me?? I'll straighten it out.. I'm sure the car wash or something did it.. but it IS on there

Him: I know, but it has to be completely visible.. so follow the instructions and pay the ticket.

Me: You know, the truth is.. and you KNOW this... you're just upset that I was going to pass you and people rarely pass you.. admit it.

Friend on phone: Jorrrrrrrrrrrdan... jordan jordan .... hey.. while most assuredly true.. save it for fighting the ticket!!

Him: Oh.. I'm stupid, is that right?

Me: Dude, you have serious issues..

Friend on phone: J.O.R.D.A.N

Me: Fine. MAY I leave now??

Him: Go ahead.. and don't forget to pay your ticket (he said with a grin)

Me: Don't forget to see a therapist. ( I said with a smirk )

Friend on phone: JORDAN...

Me: (as I'm taking off).. sorry.. geeze.. but he's an asshole...

Friend on phone: I agree, but don't tick the ass off... there should be instructions on the ticket as far as asking for a court date, call or mail in your request and......

Me: I truly believed he was pissed that I had the NERVE to attempt to pass him on the road. I was only going to pass him because I honestly thought we were in a 65. He spit when he talked, I had to shield myself from his saliva throughout the conversation ...

****I appreciate our police officers, troopers... etc, but they don't have to be assfaces either.

I had turned my stereo down for this crazy scene... so as I was hanging up with friend, I turned it back up, but not before thinking... "hey! this is 7/7/7.... not so much luck for me!!!.... wahhhhhh..."

"... I've been wandering round.. But I still come back to you... In rain or shine ... You've stood by me... girl I'm happy, happy at home... You're my best friend.... You're the first one ....When things turn out bad ...You know I'll never be lonely ......You're my only one ....And I love The things that you do ....You're my best friend ..."

Hey! that's a HAPPY song.. I love that song.. now WHY couldn't that Queen song have been playing instead of bleacher stomping "we will rock you" ??!! Surely I wouldn't have been tempted to press on the gas pedal while singing that HAPPY song... ****

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still.... I wasn't going 65.

Hangin with the fake Things today

Betcha can't guess what's in the bags?? :-)

Can't be very big.. can it?

I mean, the bags are practically flat.

I saw these items while at City Walk / Universal Friday.

It reminded me of some things I have. So I bought them.

Then I took them home.

Since my "things" are not home for the summer...

I spent some time with these things...

We had pretty much the same day we always do..

Except this time, everyone agreed with everything I said.

They all wanted to do the same things. The things were curteous to each other.

NO arguing.

Everyone got along fabulously.

It was MUCH quieter.

I almost prefer these things.


Today the things played on floats in the foyer, sat out front watching cars go by, helped do the dishes, sat nicely on the couch together for some family time, picked out things to record on TiVo, checked e-mail, played non-competitive Scrabble, took a bath and finally went to bed! The real Things 3 and 4 come back in less than two weeks... ahhhh it was nice while it lasted. But yeah, I miss the real Things.

Night night.

Friday nite with....

these BLUE men at Universal Studios.. :-)

The show wasn't exactly what I had expected, but it was definitely fun. I had seen "Stomp" and "Bang" and thought it would be similar but it wasn't. BMG was highly audience interactive and quite animated. The Blue men came out into the audience often either dancing about or looking for a participant.. this particular tour's theme was "how to be a megastar" .. appropriately named, as they gave animated advice on superstardom'ism... from beginning to end, the show was 1 hr 45 minutes of music, lights and multi-colored paint. At one point stream after stream of.. well, streamers rolled over, through and between us. Sorry for the guy(s) that have to clean that up after every show. Click on link below for a video clip of the evening.... click on "play video"

Blue Man Group @ Universal Orlando




oh.. and yeah... it was a date.

The summer of 69?

This was more like the summer of '89.. actually it was the summer of '89 (at least part of it) ... the eldest (she's 21 now) decided it would be fun to make a clip of when she was real little and put it on youtube..it only has my approval if I'm not in it. I'm sure it was hard to make (without me in it), but she managed. Her Dad is in there a couple times (once carrying her upside down) and some other relatives made it in.... the little blonde guy in many of the clips with her is her brother (the one in the ARMY now)... I think my favorite is her scolding him in front of the television. She claimed it as HER own and he was NOT to touch it ... EVER! I think she ended it with her little brother waving goodbye.. awwww... remember, it was '89, so don't blame me for the decorations in the house.. it was AIR FORCE military housing!!

My blog rating

Thanks to Amanda and Cindy.. I can now rate my blog. I would have never guess THIS though:

Mingle²


This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

crap (2x) slap (1x)

*blink* that's ALL?? I know I've said the "f" bomb, "dirty whore" and "bitch" several times... I don't think they checked very far back ;-)


So kids, for a "G" rating on your blog, just say the words "crap" and "slap"

Updatus Reportus, sort of'ish

How many of you come here and are constantly disappointed to see the SAME post sitting here for a week or two at a time? I'm disappointed in myself! I often think of things that I want to say when I'm either driving in to or from work and that's where they stay... in the car.

Oh! Maybe I should go sit in my driveway for a few minutes every night, just to update this blog.

I'm watching Age of Love right now .. hosted by Mark Consuelos. The concept for this show was to get a 30 year old guy to date a bunch of 20-something year olds and 40 -something year olds and decide if age does make a difference. So far, they 40'ish year olds are holding their own, but I'm disappointed in the 20'ish yr olds.. they seem very immature and make "old" jokes often. I'm trying to remember back when I was 20... did I do that? I'm sure I thought 40s were old, but did I actually make fun of them? I guess now that I'm in the oldies (ha) age bracket, I don't think they're old at all! But I do think the 20s are extremely immature.
I'm sure that's something the two decades of represented ages will always think of each other... One thing that did make me laugh though, was each group of women had to come up with an idea for a group date for the other group of women. The 40s picked a daycare center birthday party for the 20s to hang out with their bachelor... and the 20s picked elderly water aerobics for the 40s to do with the bachelor. I'd actually have fun at either one, but I might have MORE fun doing water aerobics with the elderly ladies (they are funny you know)... did I just say that? It actually backfired on the 20s, because the 40s came out in skimpy bikinis looking great and the bachelor admitted he had a fantastic time... ha!

In other news, today I sent disgusting pictures to a group of people on my email list. Instead of wishing them a happy fourth of July, I sent them pictures of a hand that had been ripped off by a firework, because the girl in the photo decided it would be fun to actually hold the firework and light it. It was all gory and bloody... so don't light fireworks while you're holding them... I should post the pic on here...
nah.

I was invited to N's wedding (see previous bachelorette pics) being held 7/7/07 in historic St. Augustine... but I'm working! I'm always working when there is something fun to do! Having to make your schedule out 4 months in advance is a crappy when you're trying to have a bit of a social life! How on earth do I know what I'm doing 3-4 months from now??!!

I have tried to comment on several blogs lately BUT blogger is being psycho. Everytime I click on "comment" it takes me to the comment page, as it should... the pop up comes up, that normally does (can't remember what it says right now) but when I click on it.. it's supposed to go away... instead, for the last several days, it keeps coming back as soon as I click on it (I'm not the only one this has happened to, I heard someone else complain about it too)... it's preventing me from commenting. So. How do I get rid of that??