Idiot sightings from Cindy

Cindy sent me an email forward titled "Idiot Sightings" a few days ago. Here are a couple of the sightings per her email:

IDIOT SIGHTING:We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.." We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

There were several other Idiot sightings in the email which prompted me to think of my own idiot sighting involving myself!

When I first started working where I work now, I noticed during my orientation/training phase that there was a baby named BUFA. He was being adopted, so he spent a lot of time in the nursery until the adoption agency came for him. A few weeks later, I saw another baby with the same last name... Bufa. She was going to be adopted also... then the next week, there again was yet another baby with the last name of Bufa. I couldn't believe all these babies with the same last name were going to be adopted. Is it the name? Is this some weird Italian family giving away all their children? It's not like Bufa is a common name.. so what's up with that?

Finally I asked someone why so many adoptions for people named Bufa (not verbatim, but something like that). Deadpan stares.. followed by a few laughs. What?!!!

BUFA: Baby Up For Adoption.

Whatever... how would I have known that???!!!

I emailed Cindy back and told her I might be one of those idiot people that we see out there.. she said, if I were, she would have stopped talking to me a long time ago.

I wonder if I'll ever hear from her again after this.

Cruise 2008

Next month I'm heading down to Miami to hop aboard a cruise that's taking me to Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. Yay!!

Itinerary:

Day one: Board the ship. I'm so excited because the room is on the Lido deck and has a balcony. No more sevel level jogs to get to/from the room (like last time!)

Day two: Fun day at sea. I guess this give me time to play in the casino and check out the ship.

Day three: San Juan, Puerto Rico. We don't arrive in port until 5 pm and we're there until 12 midnight. This will be a little different because every other day in port was during the day, not at night, but they do have excursions, so we'll have to figure out what we're goign to do in PR.

Day four: St. Thomas VI. Castaway Barefoot Sail & Snorkel to Shipwreck Cove ; .. Experience the thrill of sailing the crystal clear Caribbean waters in a 65-foot catamaran as well as snorkeling around world famous Buck Island.

OR...Coral World & Magen's Bay Beach;....Experience the beauty of the sea at the world famous Coral World Ocean Park followed by a beach break at Magen's Bay.

OR ...BOSS Underwater Adventure; Explore life under the sea in a whole new way with your own underwater motor scooter.

Day five: St. Maarten, NA: St. Maarten by Land & Sea;
Take a cruise on a luxurious catamaran, and a tour of St. Maarten on a Swiss Army Jeep.

Day six: Fun day at sea

Day seven: Fun day at sea

Day eight: return to Miami.

There are so many excursions to choose from.. it seems like way more than the last cruise. I still don't know for sure which ones I want to do...

Here's the thing though.. I need to be BIKINI ready by March 30th!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhh. That gives me about 6 weeks... I think I can do it.

My interest..

is waning... for this blog. I hope to get some of it back though...

Ok so.. my birthday was Friday. I'm once again 35! I hung out with my girl K all day. We spent the first part of the day haggling prices over a new vehicle at a dealership. Yes, I know I've only had my SUV for 1.5 years, but whatever, I'm getting an itch. We shopped and had lunch (on K) and had a nice girlie time. Later in the evening K, C and R met up at my house for some more girl time. We made appetizers, drank a wee bit, chatted lots and danced around my kitchen. Around 11 pm, we took off for Howl at the Moon. For those of you that don't know.. Howl at the Moon is a dueling piano bar on International (I-Drive) Orlando. We like this place because it's always lively and always a good time. Behind the pianos is a mirror that they write slogans/saying on if you pay them. Your slogan will stay up there until someone else pays money to put another one up.

My girls thought it would be funny to spend $20 putting THIS slogan up:

Jordan swallows!!!

Happy Birthday baby!!!

I almost deserve this for hanging out with girls in their 20s. Good thing I'm not a regular there.

That stayed on the board what seemed like forever.... I almost paid money myself to put something else up... anything else up, to get that down. Afterall.. it's a lie!!! :-) I was relieved after about an hour to finally see one of the employees erasing what my girls' thought was funny... until I saw the next one:

Jordan.... CALL ME!!!

407-654-XXXX

The girls swear they didn't put that one up...

We had a blast... we laughed, drank and sang along to the crazy songs. The elderly table next to us (not sure if these people thought this place was going to be a classy piano bar) sent us over mucho drinks. At one point I had 3 or 4 drinks in front of me and endless jello shots. I drank something that tasted like motor oil also.. that was gross. No, I don't know what motor oil tastes like, but I assume it would've been like that drink.

We left at closing time and headed down I-drive. Two of us had to pee pretty bad, so we pulled into McDonalds. Once we were back in the car, we sat there for a moment trying to figure out how to get back to my place (the driver, R, only had a couple drinks on purpose so she could drive). When we decided we should take a right to get out of the parking lot back onto I-drive, a McD's employee tapped on the passenger side window. C put the window down and was handed 2 large bags full of food. C and I had been in the bathroom, so we weren't sure if K or R had ordered the food. Until R said.."dude, free food". I was in the backseat and urged C to just take it so we can go. Is this how it feels to rob a bank sans the gun, the note and actually going IN the place? We *did* have the getaway car. We ate all the way home. I'm not sure who ordered this stuff.. but wtf were they doing ordering all this food with NO drinks???!!!! I had ONE bottle of Aquafina water in the car. Can you imagine sitting in the parking lot waiting for your food and it never arrives because some idiot handed it to another carload of people? That was our bad... but most of us had lot of alcohol and it just seemed like a good idea. Now, I sorta feel bad, but I'm sure they eventually got the stuff they ordered. Right?

That night... I made out with my toilet. I prayed and swore I'd never do this again... it had been YEARS since I've had that much to drink. Oh well.. you only turn 35 once. ;-)